Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
