i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
