I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
