You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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