you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
