Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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