Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
