so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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