You're so nebulous sometimes
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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