Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

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(818): View more from California

Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.

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(251): View more from Alabama

So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.

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(625): View more from

You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.

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