My nipple is on Facebook.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor