You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
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My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?