It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
