Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  if there is a rhyme for it it must be true

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  (301): if there is a rhyme for it it must be true http://tfl.nu/ckyq
  Replies (2) Good night (1156) Bad night (465)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.

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  (518): Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag. http://tfl.nu/o75p
  Replies (8) Good night (3983) Bad night (917)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.

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  (207): I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat. http://tfl.nu/i3fj
  Replies (6) Good night (2533) Bad night (1541)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.

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  (302): he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex. http://tfl.nu/7jw4
  Replies (6) Good night (3913) Bad night (929)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.

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  (817): she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student. http://tfl.nu/paxd
  Replies (13) Good night (1680) Bad night (3315)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....

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  (813): Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night.... http://tfl.nu/k2vf
  Replies (3) Good night (2443) Bad night (1167)
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  (831): View more from California

  im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public

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  (831): im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public http://tfl.nu/cxwk
  Replies (2) Good night (1286) Bad night (549)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.

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  (513): Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/y1zp
  Replies (15) Good night (1622) Bad night (1004)
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  (619): View more from California

  If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.

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  (619): If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home. http://tfl.nu/v77a
  Replies (3) Good night (462) Bad night (964)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.

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  (402): We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake. http://tfl.nu/fynu
  Replies (8) Good night (675) Bad night (880)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.

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  (318): She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust. http://tfl.nu/o3wc
  Replies (4) Good night (789) Bad night (433)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk

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  (503): Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk http://tfl.nu/l7fc
  Replies (9) Good night (722) Bad night (339)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.

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  (936): Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major. http://tfl.nu/nm7r
  Replies (2) Good night (468) Bad night (242)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard

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  (847): You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard http://tfl.nu/8q9y
  Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (289)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.

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  (509): hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer. http://tfl.nu/ou78
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (160)

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