HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just google imaged poop.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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