She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
