I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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