so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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