So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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