she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
