You're a womanizer and a bitch.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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