hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
