Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
