thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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