Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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