he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
