Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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