im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
