we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
