I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
