That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
