either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
