Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
