I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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