ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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