I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize