He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize