Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
