Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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