i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
