I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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