Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
