Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
