No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm bleeding and have questions
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
