Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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