I wanna passion pit in your ass
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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