There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize