I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.