He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes