I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder