Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.