Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
