What a fucking waste of an outfit
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
