no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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