dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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