Someone shit on the floor
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
