we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
