I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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