in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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