I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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