4 words: hood of his car
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
PANTIES FOUND
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