I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
