it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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