Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
