U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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